


Having his baby

by poeticeclipse



Series: Raising Nathaniel [1]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticeclipse/pseuds/poeticeclipse
Summary: Ryan's never been great at responsibility and his slight frame was certainly not made to bare children, especially not those of Jim halpert. But then, nothing's ever easy and sometimes people surprise us.
Relationships: Jim Halpert/Ryan Howard
Series: Raising Nathaniel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652020
Kudos: 25





	Having his baby

I slip into the darkened room making my way to the bed. Sliding carefully behind Ryan I wrap my arms around him, fingers splaying against that beautiful bulge of belly, I rub tenderly kissing his shoulder.

"Can I get you something, baby? You haven't eaten much."

He moans. "No, I'll be sick."

I rise to an elbow sweeping his hair back, his brow sticky with sweat. "Is it bad?"

He nods whimpering. I hate not being able to do anything for him. His morning sickness leaves him so lethargic and then the stomach cramps bring him to tears.

"What do you need, honey?" I press a kiss against his temple.

"Hold me?"

"Oh, baby. C'mere." I pull him against my chest and rub his back. I can feel his rounded belly pressing into my side. As excited as I am for our baby I cant help the worry and guilt I feel, especially with the way his small frame trembles against me, his warm gasps and pants against my neck as the baby twists and turns kicking against his insides. He falls back on his back breathing harshly. I watch his bare, lithe body arch, stomach pushing up. I rest my hand over the swell leaning forward to nip at his collar bone and slide a leg over him.

"Hey," I whisper, cupping his chest, sliding my thumb over a pert and sensitive nipple. "Let me distract you, hmm? Let me make you feel good." It's the least I can do.

"Jim." He whines tugging at my hair and that's all the invitation I need.

Laying in bed, I wrap my arms around his waist kissing his bare belly, stroking my hands up his sides. I can't get enough of him like this, round stomach, his skin stretched so tight, no bigger than a basketball, swollen breasts so tender to the touch. I run my thumb over his extended bellybutton giving it a kiss.

"You okay?" I ask running a hand up his thigh. He groans. It's getting close, and he's so miserable, tired and in pain. "Want a shower?" I ask moving up the bed placing a gentle kiss between his brows. His slight frame isn't used to carrying extra weight and his lower back is sure to remind him of it. He nods panting. I sweep a hand through his hair concerned. he's sweating an awful lot. "Okay, I'll start it and come back."

I trek through the house slowly, rubbing my eyes. I pause outside the nursery, Ry and I have finally put the last finishing touches up; a quaint little woodland theme. I know he's happy to have it finished. His nesting instincts kicked in right as he's at his biggest and moving is harder and he was terrified our baby wouldn't have a room to come home to. I shake my head fondly, moving to the bathroom. I'll be glad when the baby's born and his pain and fear can ease up. I turn the shower on letting it run till it's just the right temperature.

Back in the bedroom I find him sitting on the side of the bed holding his stomach. "Alright?" I crouch in front of him.

"Mmhmm." But his eyes are glazed.

"Ry. Honey, you're scaring me. I think we should go have a checkup."

"Please." He pants wearily. "I just want to shower."

"Then a checkup," I say firmly, leaving no room for arguments. He says nothing as I scoop him up. Cradling him to my chest I walk him back to the bathroom and help him under the stream of hot water. He leans against my chest. I can feel the baby kick against his stomach. He gasps. "Okay?"

"Just hold me," he whimpers.

"I've got you," I reassure, taking his weight. After fifteen minutes, when his muscles are relaxed as they're going to get, I help him out, lowering him carefully to sit on the toilet. "Wait here I'll bring you some clothes."  
It's as I'm tugging socks from the dresser drawer I hear him.

"Jim!" He screams.

I come running.

There's blood in the toilet.

Blood rushes in my ears and I stumble against the door.

"Jim!" He's screaming he's hysterical.  
I gather all my courage and take a deep breath.

"Breathe, Ryan. Breathe. I'm calling an ambulance everything's going to be alright." I grab his robe from the bathroom door slipping it on him. Sitting on the side of the tub I try to keep him steady.

Everything's a blur, the medics arriving, the ride in the ambulance, answering a dozen questions thrown my way.  
Ryan's squeezing my hand so tight, fighting with the nurse over the oxygen mask she's trying to force on him.

"Ry, please," I say wearily.

"The baby," he sobs.

"Mr. Howard your baby's fine. We have him on the monitor," she assures. "See, look right there, that's him kicking. He's fine."

"Him," he gasps clutching my hand. "A son."

I smile running my hand through his hair. "A little boy." I kiss his head. We were waiting to find out, but I'm glad we know now. I think he needed it. He finally allows the nurse to slip the mask on.

"You need to relax. Just a little spotting, possibly brought on by stress. You may be having this baby a little early," she says patting his shoulder.

Two days later and we're still in the hospital waiting.

"Hey, check it out." I sit beside him pulling out a tiny bowtie with an 'I heart daddy' print all over. He chuckles touching his belly and wincing.  
"It's so small," he breathes.

"Well, maybe he'll take after you," I tease kissing his head.

"Shut up," he mutters laying his head against my chest.

"Are you happy, baby?" I ask stroking his hair.

"Very," he murmurs tiredly.

"Get some rest, I'll be here."

"All I've done is sleep," he complains.

"It's good for you. And the baby."

He hums snuggling against my side. "Stay with me?"

"Of course."

On the third night his water breaks.

"You're doing so good, Ry. I'm so proud of you."

"I can't, I can't," he crys.

"One more push." I wipe the tears from his cheek.

"Hurts, hurts so bad," he pants blearily, his face is so pale. "I, I cant."

I squeeze his hand. "Look at me. One more you can do this."

He seizes up screaming. "That's it," the nurse shouts. "Push." 

A moment later we hear the cry.

"You did it. You did it honey." I kiss his shoulder. "Oh, Ry, he's so beautiful." The nurse lays him on his chest. "He's got your hair," I laugh, stroking a gentle finger against dark locks.

Ryan smiles at the ceiling "He's perfect," he murmurs, before his eyes roll back and he starts to shake.

"He's hemorrhaging!" The nurse shouts. Another comes to sweep the baby away.

"What's happening?" I shout clutching his hand.

"You need to step out, Sir."

"No. No what's happening!"

"He's losing blood. You need to step out and let us do our job."

I crash against the wall outside the door, sinking to the floor. Oh my God. Oh my Ryan! A nurse slips from the room with the baby.

"You can come hold your son in the nursery if you'd like." She offers smiling gently.

I don't want to move. I want to sit right here forever until I see Ryan's beautiful eyes looking back at me.  
But I know I'm no good here, and at least I can comfort my son until his daddy wakes.

"Hey, Angel." I say lifting him to me. Dark eyes blink open. "Papa's here," I whisper cradling him to my chest.  
"Daddy's being so strong for us," I tell him kissing his head.

I don't know how much time passes holding my son in that overly bright room, shifting against an uncomfortable chair just waiting for news. 

Finally it comes.

"He's stable and resting if you'd like to head back. I can get you a rolling bassinet and bring the baby to the room."

"Yes, I want him with us." My heart clenches. Ryan barely got to see him.

"What's babys name?" She asks filling out a little card to put on the bed.

"Nathaniel. Nathaniel Bailey Halpert."

She smiles. "Let's take him to go see his daddy shall we."

I watch Ryan's eyes flutter open in the early morning hours. "Hey, sweet pea," I grin kissing his cheek. "You scared the life out of me you know that?"

"'s'orry," he croaks in confusion.

"Here," I help him sip some water.

He blinks. "The baby!"

"He's right here," I soothe. Lifting him from the bassinet and gently laying him against his chest.

"How long was I asleep?"

"You hemorrhaged, baby." I choke rubbing his brow. "You've been out for most of the night."

His nurse steps in.  
His lips tremble. He looks down at Nathaniel. "I didn't get to feed him."

"Babe?" I touch his hand.

His nurse, Kim, smiles gently. "It's alright Mr. Howard he's had a bottle and you can try to let him nurse in a few hours."

To my surprise he bursts into tears. "Ry?" I say shocked, moving to hold him.

I look to Kim and she nods in sympathy. "His hormones are all askew, he'll probably be more emotional for awhile." She sighs "There's such a huge push to breastfeed it can feel like a personal fault if you're unable to."

"I can feed my son," he cries.

"Of course you can, baby." I squeeze him tight.

"Mr. Howard we would never try to take that right from you dear. You just had a hard delivery, you were losing blood we had to get you on the mend before we could think about letting him nurse, okay? Bottle fed babies can be just as healthy sweetheart," she pats his hand.

He presses his face into my neck and doesn't respond.

"I'll leave you two alone I just came to check your vitals and they're looking good."

"Thank you," I say as she closes the door.

Ryan holds Nathaniel tighter. "I wanna go home, Jim."

"I know."

I wake our first night home to an empty bed. Sliding my foot across the sheets I find Ryan's side cold. Tiredly I push myself up and head for the nursery.

I find him in the rocker with Nathaniel against his bare chest. "He wont latch," he says voice breaking.

"Babe," I sigh, gently taking the sleeping baby from him and laying him back in the crib.  
Nursing's been such a struggle for him, his nipples red and cracked from trying.

"I cant even feed my own baby," he says bitterly. Rubbing at his eyes hard. "I can't do anything."

"C'mere." I take his place in the rocker and pull him to my lap.  
"Honey, you've been so amazing. You've just birthed our beautiful son, and look at him over there sleeping like a champ. It's okay if we have to bottle feed he'll still be healthy."

"No." He crys.

I kiss his head lifting him up. "We'll try again after you've had some rest, okay?"  
I carry him back to bed. "You need to relax, darling. You're still recovering and all this stress isn't good for you." I tuck him in brushing his hair behind his ear. "He's here the hard part's over."

"I want to nurse, Jim. I feel like I'm letting him down as his dad." His chin quivers.

"Shh," I soothe. "We'll look into it, okay. I'm sure there are plenty of tips out there you've only been home a day, get some rest, okay?" He nods exhausted. I get the cream the hospital gave us for his breast and gently smooth it on. He sighs at the relief. "How you feeling down there?" I ask, hand lingering on his lower belly. "You need something?" Pushing a baby out was no easy task and I know it still pains him going to the bathroom.

"I'm okay," he breathes eyes fluttering.

"Alright." I kiss his belly. "Let me know." But he's already asleep.

I bring Nathaniel in, laying him on the bed. "Think you're ready to try again?"  
He nods looking wary.  
His tits are slightly swollen and I can feel the difference in their weight when I cup them.

"You really think this will work?"

"Yes," I say. "We just have to get your milk flowing, show him there's something there worth suckling."

"Alright," he murmurs, as I sit in front of him reaching for his breast.  
I squeeze, gently massaging the mounds and lightly pinching his nipples. "Relax," I say. Leaning forward and sucking a rosey bud into my mouth. It only takes two good pulls before his milk comes over my tongue. I lean back letting it dribble a bit and lift the baby to him who, immediately latches on. "There you go little one," I coo. Ryan laughs wetly. I look up brushing a tear from his cheek. "Papa's beautiful boys."

"He's doing it," he says in awe.  
We listen to him slurp greedily and laugh.

"Of course, he's a growing boy. Just look at those feet." I say gently cupping his tiny foot.

"Oh my God," Ryan groans. "No wonder he almost tore me apart. I gave birth to a freaking Halpert."

I laugh kissing his cheek. "I love you too."

I lay against the headboard, Ryan between my legs reclining against my chest, Nate suckling one breast while I massage the other getting it ready for him.

"Dr, Pryor says he's right on target for weight," Ryan says quietly.

I kiss his neck. "'cause he has such a good daddy," I tell him gently rolling and pinching his nipple.

He hums. "I couldn't do it without you."

"You don't have to," I say trailing kisses up to his ear.

"Your mom wants to babysit," he says after a minute.

"What do you think about that?" I ask not faltering in my ministrations.

"Maybe. When he's older, he says clutching him tighter.

"Alright, sweetheart. It's up to you."

I know my mother is eager to get some one on one time with her grandbaby, but after the hell Ryan went through bringing him into this world it's only fair he gets to call the shots. And I don't mind if we never have a night out again, as long as I have my boys with me nothing else really matters.


End file.
